EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for the Comedy Hall's very own Michael Borland. ( applause ) Look, look, the Kennedys killed Marilyn Monroe. I'm pretty sure the gunman in the grassy knoll was either Arthur Miller or Joe DiMaggio. "Bang my wife, will you?" ( imitates gunshot ) ( laughing, mumbles ) "Hey, if you'd have me, I'd ask you to marry me. Hell, somebody's got to clean..." MICHAEL: Hey, how many of you people somebody's got to clean..." MICHAEL: Hey, how many of you people know the theme to Gilligan's Island? ( cheering, applause ) All right. Now, how many of you can recite the Bill of Rights? That's-that's-that's... Who cares? It's really not that important. We don't use it anymore. Heinous, that was her name. Heinous. And your sister Horrendous. My given name was... ( guttural sound ) ( laughing ) I hear a lot of folks saying, "You know, "if it wasn't for the U.S., the, uh, French would be speaking German." ( mild applause ) Yeah, well, if it, if it wasn't for the French, you'd be speaking Cherokee. 司儀：各位先生女士，請鼓掌歡迎喜劇堂嘅Michael Borland。（掌聲）睇吓睇吓，甘迺迪家族殺咗瑪麗蓮夢露。我好肯定草地山丘個槍手係Arthur Miller或者Joe DiMaggio。「搞我老婆，係咪？」（模仿槍聲）（笑聲，含糊說話）「喂，如果你肯要我，我會叫你嫁俾我。鬼咁，總要有人清理...」MICHAEL：喂，你哋有幾多人識《吉利根島》嘅主題曲？（歡呼聲，掌聲）好嘞。咁，你哋有幾多人背得出《權利法案》？嗰個...嗰個...邊個理佢？其實唔係咁重要㗎。我哋都唔再用啦。Heinous，佢個名。Heinous。同你個妹Horrendous。我個名係...（喉嚨聲）（笑聲）我成日聽到好多人話：「你知唔知，如果冇美國，啲法國佬就會講德文。」（輕微掌聲）係呀，如果冇法國佬，你哋就會講切羅基話喇。
MAN: Get off the stage! MICHAEL: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your brains? "That's my time, everybody. Tip for the night: "if you don't know what you're doing, "don't do it harder. Good night, everybody." ( laughing ) Zip me up. ( sighs ) ( zips ) ( sighs ) ( zips ) Mm. Anything else? Yeah. Laugh. MICHAEL: It recently came out that Jesus could've had siblings. Could you imagine growing up having Jesus in your family? WOMAN: Hey, Dougie. Hi. "Why can't you be more like your brother?" Hi. "Why can't you be more like your brother?" What's up, dude? Hi, ladies. "Uh, 'cause he's the Messiah. All right. He's the son of God." All right. He's the son of God." "When your brother's home, we always have wine." Hey, caught your act on the tube last night. You knocked them out. I had to turn up the volume, I was laughing so loud. This art exhibit get any laughs? Hey, come on, you're my only headliner, you know that. Well, I'm Michael Borland, and that's my time... ...and that's your silence. All right, now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to your headliner this evening, a man I'm sure you know from his hit TV show Dougie to the Max, Mr. Dougie Max! ( cheering and applause ) Save me. Remember when I used to open for you? ( "Supersonic" by Oasis playing ) Yeah! 男人：落台啦！MICHAEL：噢，唔好意思。我整親你個腦呀？「夠鐘啦，各位。今晚嘅貼士：如果你唔知自己做緊咩，就唔好再大力啲去做。晚安，各位。」（笑聲）幫我拉埋拉鏈。（嘆氣）（拉鏈聲）（嘆氣）（拉鏈聲）嗯。仲有冇嘢？係。笑啦。MICHAEL：最近有消息話耶穌可能係有兄弟姊妹㗎。你諗吓，同耶穌一齊成長係咩感覺？女人：喂，Dougie。嗨。「點解你唔可以似你阿哥多啲？」嗨。「點解你唔可以似你阿哥多啲？」做咩呀，老友？嗨，女士們。「因為佢係彌賽亞。好嘞。佢係上帝個仔。」好嘞。佢係上帝個仔。「你阿哥返嚟嗰陣，我哋成日都有紅酒飲。」喂，尋晚睇到你喺電視嘅表演。你搞掂晒佢哋。我要校大聲啲，因為我笑到好大聲。呢個藝術展有冇人笑？喂，嚟啦，你係我唯一嘅頭牌，你知㗎。我係Michael Borland，呢個係我嘅時間...呢個係你哋嘅沉默。好嘞，各位先生女士，等我介紹今晚嘅頭牌俾你哋，我相信你哋一定喺佢嘅熱門節目《Dougie to the Max》見過佢，Mr. Dougie Max！（歡呼聲和掌聲）救我。記唔記得我以前係幫你做開場㗎？（Oasis《Supersonic》播放中）係呀！
What's up, Vegas? 做咩呀，拉斯維加斯？
♪ I need to be myself... ♪ ( cheering and groaning ) Hey, kid, it's a cruel world. ( cheering and applause ) Ain't it great? Bam! Welcome to The Tragedy Hall. Hey, you hear the one about the comedian who died onstage? Literally. Bah-dum-bum. I'll be here all week. Maybe he slipped on a banana peel. Bah-dum-bum. Hmm. BRASS: The crowd thought it was part of his act... until he didn't get up. Hi, David. HODGES: Hey, Catherine. ♪ 我要做返自己... ♪（歡呼聲和呻吟聲）喂，細路，呢個世界好殘酷㗎。（歡呼聲和掌聲）係咪好正？Bam！歡迎嚟到悲劇堂。喂，你聽過有個笑星喺台上死咗嘅笑話未？真係死。巴-噠-噠。我會喺度成個禮拜。可能佢踩到香蕉皮跣親。巴-噠-噠。嗯。BRASS：班觀眾以為係佢表演嘅一部分...直到佢冇起身。嗨，David。HODGES：喂，Catherine。
Well, there's no foam on the mouth. No discoloration around the lips. Pupils aren't dilated. No overt evidence of a drug overdose. When was the last time a comedian died of natural causes? Clenched fist. Classic Levine's sign. He's awfully young for a heart attack. BRASS: Well, live fast, die young... I forget the rest. GRISSOM: Excuse me! Could someone turn down the house lights, and turn up the stage lights? Thank you. I want to see what he saw right before he died. 冇口吐白沫。嘴唇冇變色。瞳孔冇放大。冇明顯嘅藥物過量證據。上一次有笑星係自然死亡係幾時？拳頭揸緊。典型嘅Levine徵象。佢咁後生，心臟病發太早啦。BRASS：活得快，死得早...我唔記得後面點講。GRISSOM：唔該！可唔可以校暗啲觀眾席嘅燈，校光啲舞台燈？唔該。我想睇吓佢死之前見到咩。
What do you see? 你見到咩？
Nothing. What are you looking for? A punch line? Bah-dum-bum. 冇嘢。你搵緊咩？笑點？巴-噠-噠。
♪ Who... are you? ♪ ♪ Who, who, who, who? ♪ ♪ Who... are you? ♪ ♪ Who, who, who, who? ♪ ♪ I really wanna know ♪ ♪ Who... are you? ♪ ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Who... ♪ ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ Who... ♪ ♪ Come on, tell me who are you, you, you ♪ ♪ Oh, you! ♪ ♪ 你...係邊個？♪ ♪ 邊個，邊個，邊個，邊個？♪ ♪ 你...係邊個？♪ ♪ 邊個，邊個，邊個，邊個？♪ ♪ 我真係好想知 ♪ ♪ 你...係邊個？♪ ♪ 噢-噢-噢 ♪ ♪ 你...♪ ♪ 噢-噢-噢 ♪ ♪ 你...♪ ♪ 嚟啦，話我知你係邊個，你，你，你 ♪ ♪ 噢，你！♪
( garbled radio transmission) GILBERT: See, here's a switch. They've got him rolling in the aisles. Well, I guess he's off to a better place. Any place would be better than this dump. Hey, hey! Sorry, Alan. I didn't see you. At least Dougie put laughter in the air and asses in the seats and drinks on the tabs. （模糊嘅無線電通訊）GILBERT：睇吓，呢度有啲古怪。佢哋搞到佢喺走廊碌嚟碌去。我諗佢去咗個更好嘅地方。邊度都好過呢個垃圾場。喂喂！Sorry，Alan。我冇見到你。至少Dougie帶嚟笑聲、坐滿觀眾同埋叫多啲酒水。
I loved that guy. Took me 15 years to find the next Kinison, and the minute I do, he gets a sitcom. Now I have to pay him a king's ransom to come back here once a year, and this is where he started. ( laughs ): Figures the bastard would die on me. You know, I-I should put up a sign, you know, like in Dealey Plaza, "Kennedy Shot Here," "Dougie Dropped Here." Hey, Alan, you got a spot open now. What do you say tomorrow you give me some time? You got a job. You want to keep it? 我好鍾意嗰條友。我用咗15年先搵到下一個Kinison，點知一搵到，佢就攞到個處境劇。而家我要俾好多錢先請得佢返嚟一年一次，而呢度係佢起步嘅地方。（笑）諗起都火滾，條仆街死喺我手上。你知唔知，我應該整塊牌，好似Dealey Plaza咁，「甘迺迪喺呢度中槍」，「Dougie喺呢度死咗」。喂，Alan，你而家有冇空位？聽日俾啲時間我得唔得？你有份工。你想唔想保住佢？
Dougie was a hack with hack material who caught a break and never let anybody forget it. Oh, you want suspects? Here. Check out the wall. Any one of these guys would kill to have his stage. Dougie係個用cheap料嘅cheap精，撞正個機會就成日掛喺嘴邊。哦，你想要疑犯？呢度。睇吓幅牆。呢班人任何一個都會殺人嚟搶佢個台。
♪ ♪
( sniffs ) （聞）
Oh, China. Six bottles of Innoko water. Three partially filled, three unopened. Don't go Cousteau on me here. It was all part of his shtick. He was like Tarkanian with the towel. You know, always biting and pacing. Dougie's mantra was, "It's a cruel world. Ain't it great?" 哦，中國。六枝Innoko水。三枝飲咗一半，三枝未開。唔好同我扮Cousteau。呢啲都係佢嘅招牌動作。佢就好似Tarkanian拎住條毛巾咁。成日咬嘢同踱步。Dougie嘅口頭禪係：「呢個世界好殘酷。係咪好正？」
Uh, it was low-brow. Strictly chug-and-belch. Laughter is an involuntary motor response triggered by survival issues: food, sex, body functions, death. 嗯，係低俗嘢。純粹係飲完打嗝。笑聲係一種由生存問題觸發嘅不自主運動反應：食物、性、身體功能、死亡。
Yeah, it's a cruel world. WILLOWS: So, who has access to the green room? Well, according to who? According to me, just the talent. According to these meat sticks, the world. All right, I would like to see everyone's wallet. I don't need to see your identification, just open your wallets. MICHAEL: Uh, it says I'm 180 pounds, but I'm 145. I know that, in Nevada law, if there's a 25-pound discrepancy, that-that's actually against the law. Thank you. 係呀，呢個世界好殘酷。WILLOWS：咁，邊個可以入後台休息室？你話呢？我話就得表演者。根據呢班死差佬，全世界都得。好嘞，我想睇吓大家嘅銀包。我唔需要睇你嘅身份證，淨係打開銀包就得。MICHAEL：嗯，呢度話我180磅，但我得145磅。我知道喺內華達州法例，如果有25磅嘅差距，咁係犯法㗎。唔該。
Thanks. You're welcome. 唔該。唔使客氣。
In this one I'm wearing a thong. That's, uh, more than I needed to know. Thank you. ( laughter ) 呢張相我著緊丁字褲。呢個...我唔需要知咁多。唔該。（笑聲）
( garbled radio transmission in distance ) （遠處模糊嘅無線電通訊）
When was the last time you used this credit card? What? 你最後一次用呢張信用卡係幾時？咩話？
( engine approaches ) ( horn honks ) ( engine revs ) （引擎聲接近）（響號）（引擎聲）
GRISSOM: C.O.D.? ROBBINS: Myocardial necrosis. Just what you'd expect from a heart attack, only I didn't find any blockages consistent with coronary disease. He was remarkably healthy for a dead guy. Well, Dougie Max had more than comedy in his blood. Tox came back positive for coke. The answer is, the three main ways to take cocaine. GRISSOM：死因？ROBBINS：心肌壞死。同心臟病發嘅情況一樣，只係我冇發現任何同冠狀動脈疾病一致嘅阻塞。佢作為一個死人嚟講，身體非常健康。Dougie Max唔止係血液入面有笑話。毒理報告返咗陽性，有可卡因。答案係，吸食可卡因嘅三種主要方法。
All right, Alex. What is snorting it, smoking it or injecting it? Very good. The answer is normal nasal passages, clear lungs, and no track marks on the body. Continuing this childish metaphor, what is how did the drugs get into his system? We'll have to wait for Final Jeopardy. ( sighs ) ( exhalin ) My client has agreed to plead to possession and answer any questions. Nothing she tells you can be interpreted as criminal intent... Well, that's between you and the DA. The preliminary tox screen on Dougie Max came back positive for cocaine. Dougie was in a program, okay? It was my cocaine. He wasn't using. It was in his blood. Well... Dougie always liked to do a little hum-and-coke before a show. MICHAEL: The Kennedys killed Marilyn Monroe. I'm pretty sure the gunman... Cocaine on the foreskin, or any skin, for that matter, is not a stimulant; it's a numbing agent. Right. That was the idea. You see, the goal wasn't to pop the cork. It was to... shake the bottle. Sounds frustrating. Dougie liked to go out on stage frustrated. I ran away from home at age 25. I drank and I whored... ( laughter, whooping ) I drank and I whored... ( laughter, whooping ) ...and I got my own show! ( cheering ) Yeah, Dougie to the Max, bee-yatch! Gave him an edge. That was Dougie's philosophy: go in hot, burn the place down. 好嘞，Alex。係乜嘢？用鼻吸、用口吸定係注射？非常好。答案係正常嘅鼻腔、清晰嘅肺部同身體上冇針孔。繼續呢個幼稚嘅比喻，係乜嘢令到毒品入咗佢身體？我哋要等Final Jeopardy先知。（嘆氣）（呼氣）我嘅當事人同意認罪藏毒同回答任何問題。佢同你講嘅任何嘢都唔可以解讀為犯罪意圖...呢個係你同檢察官之間嘅事。Dougie Max嘅初步毒理篩查返咗可卡因陽性。Dougie有參加戒毒計劃，好嗎？係我嘅可卡因。佢冇吸毒。佢血液入面有。嗯...Dougie成日鍾意喺表演前搞吓「哼一哼、索一索」。MICHAEL：甘迺迪家族殺咗瑪麗蓮夢露。我好肯定個槍手...可卡因喺包皮上，或者任何皮膚上，都唔係興奮劑；係麻醉劑。啱。就係呢個意思。你睇，目標唔係要開個塞。而係要...搖個樽。聽落好 frustrating。Dougie鍾意帶住 frustration 上台。我25歲嗰陣離家出走。我飲酒同嫖妓...（笑聲，歡呼聲）我飲酒同嫖妓...（笑聲，歡呼聲）...然後我攞到自己嘅節目！（歡呼聲）係呀，Dougie to the Max，仆街！俾佢一種銳氣。呢個就係Dougie嘅哲學：帶住火氣上台，燒晒成個場。
Oh, you're making coffee. Good. I could use some. How do you take it? Today, high-octane black. I need your help with something. Shoot. 哦，你沖緊咖啡。好。我都想飲啲。你點飲法？今日，高濃度齋啡。我有啲嘢想你幫手。講啦。
A few weeks ago, Homicide gets called to Green Valley. A woman in her 40s slips in the bathtub and drowns. You know, cracked skull, raccooned eyes. I mean, a traumatic death, but nothing suspicious. CSI found what? I didn't call them in. I ruled it an accident. What changed? Last night I saw the husband out on the town. I mean, I could tell you something, Nick. Three weeks ago, this guy was devastated. ( sobbing ): I should've been here. What am I gonna do? 幾個禮拜前，兇殺組接到Green Valley嘅報案。一個40幾歲嘅女人喺浴缸跣親浸死。你知啦，頭骨爆裂，熊貓眼。我意思係，一個創傷性死亡，但冇可疑。CSI發現咗咩？我冇叫佢哋嚟。我裁定係意外。有咩改變咗？尋晚我見到個老公出街玩。我意思係，我可以話你知，Nick。三個禮拜前，呢條友好似世界末日咁。（喊）：我應該喺度㗎。我點算好？
I mean, she was my life. Onward and upward. No, but this is way upward. I mean, he trades in his beat-up old Acura for a brand-new Ferrari. He's with a girl who gives more lift-off than-than Cape Canaveral. ( laughs ): Well, people grieve in different ways, man. No, no, I understand that. I got no problem with that. I'm not a priest. That's why I called the life insurance carrier. And check this out. The morning Shelley Stark was found, George Stark made a call to the life insurance agent. Went like this: "My wife is dead, I want my money." I mean, just like that. All in one breath. What's the payout? $750,000. Now, I got the police report, autopsy protocol, detective summary and scene photos. 我意思係，佢係我嘅生命。向前向上。唔，但呢個係向上到不得了。我意思係，佢用架殘舊嘅Acura換咗架全新嘅法拉利。佢同一個女仔一齊，個女仔嘅「升空能力」仲勁過卡納維拉爾角。（笑）：人哋哀悼嘅方式唔同㗎，老友。唔，唔，我明。我冇問題。我又唔係神父。所以我就打咗俾人壽保險公司。你睇吓呢樣。Shelley Stark被發現嗰朝早，George Stark打咗俾人壽保險經紀。佢係咁講：「我老婆死咗，我要攞錢。」就係咁簡單。一氣呵成。賠幾多？75萬美金。而家，我有警察報告、解剖報告、探員總結同現場相片。
You sure you're not looking for Grissom? I'm chasing something that Gil Grissom isn't interested in. A hunch. I don't have to run any tests. You cannot absorb enough cocaine through your penis to OD. Cite your source. I don't have a source. That's why we did the tests. Whatever. That's why we did the tests. Whatever. All right, who wants it? 你肯定你唔係搵Grissom？我追緊啲Gil Grissom冇興趣嘅嘢。一個直覺。我唔需要做任何測試。你冇可能透過陰莖吸收足夠嘅可卡因致死。引用你嘅來源。我冇來源。所以我哋先做測試。是但啦。所以我哋先做測試。是但啦。好嘞，邊個想要？
Cocaine levels are less than .05 milligrams per liter. Way too low. That's not what killed him. So what did? Well, according to your blood sample, naratriptamine. The new migraine medication? Mm-hmm. Powerful stuff. And what were the levels in the vic? 30 milligrams. 12 times the recommended dosage. Ooh. Dougie Max was poisoned. To the max. 可卡因濃度低過每公升0.05毫克。太低啦。唔係呢個殺死佢。咁係咩？根據你嘅血液樣本，係naratriptamine。新嘅偏頭痛藥？嗯。好勁嘅嘢。死者體內嘅濃度係幾多？30毫克。係建議劑量嘅12倍。噢。Dougie Max係被毒死㗎。去到盡。
♪ ♪ ( exhales ) Cop shots. No rulers, no markers. No, just a bathroom, a towel bar and a dead woman. ♪ ♪（呼氣）警察影嘅相。冇間尺，冇標記。冇，淨係一個廁所、一條毛巾架同一個死咗嘅女人。
Injuries are consistent with an accident. Yeah, but the contusion to the back of the head was not fatal. 傷勢同意外吻合。係，但後腦嘅挫傷唔係致命。
( metal clatters ) Abbreviated autopsy. Dr. Robbins oversaw. Cause of death: drowning. It jibes with the husband's account, it jibes with the detective's account. There is nothing in this file that suggests anything other than an accident. I don't know, Sara, other people's notes, other people's photos, evidence twice-removed. No CSI ever even got to look at it. （金屬碰撞聲）簡化解剖。由Robbins醫生監督。死因：溺斃。同老公嘅口供吻合，同探員嘅口供吻合。呢份檔案入面冇任何嘢顯示唔係意外。我唔知，Sara，其他人嘅筆記、其他人嘅相片、二手證據。連CSI都冇機會睇過。
Do you want to go to the bathroom? 你想去廁所睇吓？
GRISSOM: Consumables from the club that matched Dougie's stomach contents. We know that he had naratriptamine in his system, and we also know that the poison was ingested. Because Spam can't be absorbed through the penis, and if you ask me to cite my source... I'll take your word for it. ♪ ♪ GRISSOM：俱樂部嘅消耗品同Dougie嘅胃內容物吻合。我哋知道佢體內有naratriptamine，我哋亦知道毒藥係口服嘅。因為Spam唔可以透過陰莖吸收，如果你要我引用來源...我信你。♪ ♪
Death by chocolate again? 又係朱古力殺人？
Hmm. 嗯。
STOKES: I'm Nick Stokes, that's Sara Sidle over there, we're with the Vegas crime lab. We're just here to... Miss, plea-please-please don't get so close to the car, all right? The alarm is really delicate. STOKES: We're not really as concerned with the car, sir. What we'd like to do is look at your bathroom. STOKES：我係Nick Stokes，呢位係Sara Sidle，我哋係拉斯維加斯犯罪實驗室嘅。我哋只係嚟...小姐，請請請唔好咁近架車，好嗎？防盜好敏感㗎。STOKES：我哋其實唔係好關心架車，先生。我哋想睇吓你嘅廁所。
Um, why, wha-what would you like to look at the bathroom for? Like I said, we're with the Crime Lab. We're here to tie up some loose ends regarding your wife's case. STARK: I appreciate how thorough you guys are being, but I got, I got to be honest. This is pretty painful territory for me. Right. I mean, it's still pretty hard to get up in the morning without Shelley, so... STOKES: Right, I understand. I understand. ( alarm sounding ) Ma'am-- Miss, I thought I... Sorry. I-I'm sorry. I, uh... ( baby crying ) Your neighbors are looking. I'll get the keys. Come on. Come on in. 嗯，點解，你...你哋想睇廁所做咩？正如我話，我哋係犯罪實驗室嘅。我哋嚟係想跟進返你太太單案嘅一啲細節。STARK：我好欣賞你哋咁仔細，但我老實講，呢個對我嚟講係好痛苦嘅地方。明白。我意思係，冇咗Shelley，朝早起身仍然好難捱，所以...STOKES：明白，我明白。（防盜響）女士--小姐，我以為我...Sorry。我...對唔住。我，嗯...（BB喊聲）你啲鄰居望緊。我去攞鎖匙。嚟啦。入嚟啦。
STOKES: It smells like fresh paint. Yeah, I had the whole place redone this week. Bad memories. Did you replace the tub? No. But you replaced the fixtures. STOKES：聞到有油漆味。係，我今個禮拜成個地方翻新過。唔好嘅回憶。你有冇換咗個浴缸？冇。但你換咗啲裝置。
There used to be a towel bar there. Yeah. Would you by any chance have the old towel bar lying around somewhere? No, the contractor tossed it. It was junk. Came with the house. This whole subdivision comes stock. In fact, the first thing the broker told me when I bought it, if I ever want to sell, invest in upgrades. You selling? Too big for one person. 呢度以前有條毛巾架。係。你咁啱有冇舊嘅毛巾架放喺邊？冇，裝修佬掉咗啦。係垃圾。跟間屋嚟㗎。成個屋苑都係標準配置。事實上，我買嗰陣經紀第一句就話，如果想賣，就要升級。你準備賣？一個人住太大啦。
Thank you. Uh, thanks for your time. Mm. 唔該。嗯，多謝你嘅時間。嗯。
You pulled the plug kind of early. What's going on? Yeah, that bathroom's not the crime scene anymore. I say we go with the next best thing. 你咁快就收手。發生咩事？係，嗰個廁所已經唔係案發現場啦。我話我哋用第二個最好嘅選擇。
Model home. Model home. What do Socrates, Edgar Allan Poe, and Dougie Max have in common? They all drank themselves to death. You've isolated the source of the poison? Naratriptamine, Innoko water bottle number three. ( cheering and applause ) 示範單位。示範單位。蘇格拉底、愛倫坡同Dougie Max有咩共通點？佢哋都係飲酒飲到死。你搵到毒藥嘅來源未？Naratriptamine，Innoko水第三枝。（歡呼聲和掌聲）
Oh, God. 噢，天啊。
What about the other bottles? Clean. Okay. I need you to process that bottle for trace impurities. Got it. Anything that might've mixed in with the poison could help us identify the original source. We identify the source, maybe we identify the killer. 其他樽呢？乾淨。好。我要你處理嗰個樽，搵微量雜質。收到。任何可能同毒藥混合嘅嘢都可以幫我哋搵到原始來源。搵到來源，可能就搵到兇手。
Well, where are you going? To get a drink. 嗯，你去邊？去飲杯嘢。
75 units with 75 identical floor plans. I never thought I'd be grateful for cookie cutter homes. Like bees in a hive. Gives me the creeps. You sure you don't want me to do this? Are you kidding? I live for this. And Shelley Stark and I are the same height and weight. Yeah, but you're taller, thinner. Oh, butter that toast, Nick. ( laugh ) ( clears throa ) Okay, I'm Shelley Stark. Mm-hmm. Okay, I'm Shelley Stark. Mm-hmm. My bath is over, and I'm about to get out, so... I brace myself with my left hand, and I'm getting up at a 45-degree angle, and I slip, so I grab the first thing I can. Towel bar. Towel bar. Towel bar. Okay. So, at this point, all of my weight is being supported by this bar. And it doesn't budge. No. 75個單位，75個相同嘅平面圖。我從來冇諗過我會為咗倒模屋而感恩。好似蜂巢入面嘅蜜蜂咁。令我毛骨悚然。你肯定唔想我嚟做？你講笑呀？我為呢啲而活。而Shelley Stark同我一樣高同重。係，但你高啲，瘦啲。哦，擦鞋仔，Nick。（笑）（清喉嚨）好嘞，我係Shelley Stark。嗯。好嘞，我係Shelley Stark。嗯。我沖完涼，準備出嚟，所以...我用左手撐住，以45度角起身，然後跣親，所以我捉住第一樣嘢。毛巾架。毛巾架。毛巾架。好嘞。喺呢個時候，我全部體重都靠呢條架支撐。佢郁都唔郁。唔得。
( laughs ) You okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. But this thing is coming down. ( clears throat ) Okay. （笑）你冇事呀？係，我冇事。我冇事。但呢樣嘢會跌落嚟。（清喉嚨）好嘞。
You sure you don't want me to do that? No. ( grunting ) Okay. 你肯定唔想我嚟做？唔。（用力聲）好嘞。
Sara. ( grunts ) ( exhales ) There is no way that Shelley Stark brought down this towel bar. You want me to give it a shot? this towel bar. You want me to give it a shot? ( sighs ) Sara。（用力聲）（呼氣）Shelley Stark冇可能拉得低呢條毛巾架。你想我試吓？（嘆氣）
( rattling ) （搖晃聲）
( strains ) ( pants ) Someone took a lot of effort to make this look like an accident. Yeah, about $750,000 worth of effort. Okay, so you know the thing that drives me crazy about men? You know how they take the toilet paper, and then they put it up on top of the holder. What is that? Do they not see that? Or are they just busy looking at their underwear on the floor? ( laughs ): I got a nickname for my man. I call him Mr. Drop-and-Stay, 'cause if he drops it, man, it just stays there. God, uh... Ooh, well, and that's my time. Uh, you've been 14 quiet people, six empty tables, and I'll see you in hell. Modern version of the old hook. （用力聲）（喘氣）有人花咗好多功夫
Welcome to Open Mic Night, guys. What can I get you? Information. Wow, your coffee stinks. Oh, really. I'm sorry it's not up to the standards of your crap-ass home brew, but that'll be five bucks all the same, my friend. Dougie Max's Innoko water bottles that were on the stage his last performance, who set them up? Yours truly. Bartender. Mr. Max had very acquired tastes. Lofty demands, you know? Six pristine Innoko water bottles, labels all facing the Luxor. And the green room? Forget it. Silver tray, Spam, Choco Bees-- all blue. Not-not to mention that, uh, passionfruit stuff-- what is it, two bucks a pop? Try to find that stuff. Let's get back to the water. It was poisoned.
Really? Mmm. The, uh, bottles you took out to the stage-- where'd they come from? That... Dougie's private stash. Well, besides you and Dougie, who had access to it? Nobody's allowed behind the bar besides the bar staff and me. But no one listens to him. You got a bottle opener? Hey! That's going on your tab, you leech. GILBERT: I'm scared. Well, you've got a temper... and a record. Assault. Club in Tucson. Yeah, I had a temper, until I kicked the crap out of a heckler for interrupting my closing bit. Do you get headaches? Yeah, I'm getting one right now. We want all the Innoko water... ...to go.
Warrick. This just in. DB at a convenience store on Torrey Pines. You're all I got. I'm on it. Oh, hey, listen. I checked the bartender's medical records. The guy's had six different prescriptions for migraines in the last two years. Guess which one he's on now? Naratriptamine.
I'm Warrick Brown from CSI. You want to tell me what happened here? I don't know. Kid walks in. He goes down an aisle. Next thing I know, he drops dead.
Where'd he start? He was pacing back and forth, scoping the place out. I always spot those kids. People don't know. You consume food or drink in the store, it's the same as shoplifting until you pay for it. What'd he steal? A beverage. He put it back before I could catch him. BROWN: Where? Over here.
This isn't funny anymore.
Total recall. We pulled 140 bottles of Innoko water off the shelves in this store alone. There's 500 convenience stores in Vegas. We need to get this product off the shelves now. Grocery stores, restaurants, wholesalers... I mean, not to mention... ...only your Innoko water product is involved. CSI is gonna need the name of any recent firings, anyone with a lawsuit against the company, anyone who's made threats against the company-- anyone with an axe to grind. Yes, I know that we risk panic, anyone with an axe to grind. Yes, I know that we risk panic, Chief, but I'd rather risk that than have another victim. Hang on. We need to find out what's in there. I'm back. Yeah. Right. ROBBINS: I checked her lungs. Bath water. And the blow to the back of the head consistent with a fall. Besides, Homicide reported that nothing at the scene indicated foul play, so, there was no reason to do more than an abbreviated autopsy. No one's impugning your work, Doctor. Yeah, it's nothing personal, Doc. Well, this is personal, Nick. I tend to take my work to heart, and when the two of you come in here asking me to sign a court-ordered request for an exhumation of a body that's already left my hands, I tend to take it very personally. Look, I'm the one who said Shelley Stark's death was an accident, and I'm the one with second thoughts. I mean, it's my ass on the line. That's wrong, Captain. It's my ass on the line. I don't think the two of you are sensitive to what we're really talking about here. First of all, exhumations are costly and public. Makes this office look inept, and that's just internally. God forbid it gets in the newspaper. Remember something-- the public does not understand abbreviated autopsy. All they hear is "Oh, what did he miss?" No one's saying you missed anything. We have new evidence. We need to reevaluate the body. Respectfully, Nick, I don't think you understand. I think I do understand. Yeah, Nick... Give us a minute, will you? Just-just a minute.
Neither of us want to be wrong, but this isn't about the press, the public, your office, you or me. This is about Shelley Stark. Now, we can do one of two things. We can do nothing, let this guy walk, or we can go to work, exhume the body, and find new evidence. Now, it's your call.
♪ ♪
The poison in both bottles is naratriptamine. Same trace impurities in the water: sulfides, phenols, amino acid complexes and caffeine. So, we've got two bottles of poisoned Innoko water, one from a comedy club on Western, the other from a convenience store halfway across town. What's the connection? There may not be one, it could just be random. So, how are we gonna get this guy? You know, they never caught the guy who put the cyanide in the Tylenol back in the '80s. They found out how the bottles were tampered with. That's where safety seals came from.
No injection holes in the bottle from the Speedy Mart. Do you see anything? No. No, nothing yet.
Wait a minute. It's in the threads.
Would you like to try one from the Comedy Hole? Mr. Phillips, she's not gonna hop out of that coffin by herself. Doc, I'm not quite sure how to proceed. First exhumation. Yeah. Well, it's very simple. You open it up. Now, if she grabs you, use your free hand and hold her down, okay? Okay. ( lid squeaking )
Wow. She's pretty well-preserved. NICK: Well, embalming does... Yeah, removes the blood, retards bacterial growth and, uh, pickles the tissue, mm-hmm. David, would you do me a favor? Go to the store and buy some cold cream. Why? Her makeup. it's got to come off. Oh. Okay. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks, Dave. Las Vegas awakens today with a terrible realization that our city may face a new and deadly menace. 15-year-old Casey Flynn collapsed and died this morning shortly after drinking a bottle of Innoko water at a convenience store near Torrey Pines. What kind of sick bastard would do something like this? The question isn't who-- it's how. As in how do they expect this lab to test 40,000 bottles of overpriced tap water? If we have to, one bottle at a time until we find every tainted bottle. The events occurred on opposite ends of town, and investigators have not yet established a definite connection between the two deaths. But Las Vegas residents fear the worst, that our city may be in the grip of a product-tampering nightmare. You know how they tested for the cyanide in the Tylenol case? Hodges? One, two, three? ( imitates buzzer ) They took it to the airport. They X-rayed bottles in bulk using baggage scanners. Nice. Cyanide's opaque to X-rays. Yeah, cyanide and X-rays. That's a lucky break. But any of you geniuses have a "lucky" test for naratriptamine? We've got a bigger problem than we thought we had. Why are you looking at me? I'm not looking at you. Yes, you are.
We think that we nailed the tampering method. The poison wasn't inside the bottle. It was on the bottle cap. We think that the killer dripped a solution of naratriptamine into the threads of the bottle cap. Capillary action pulled the solution into the threads, where it dried into white crystals. Oh, so, each time Dougie Max and Casey Flynn took a sip, the liquid came in contact with the threads and washed back into the bottle. ( cheering and applause ) And so the poison I found in the Innoko water was backwash. Which means that we're gonna have to take the caps off of 40,000 bottles. Right now, that's the way it looks. Great.
♪ ♪
I need to see the lot numbers of the bottles you pulled from the convenience store. I got all the stacks arranged by locations, so the convenience store is right here. 140 bottles, NV6630.
The tainted bottles didn't come from this lot. Well, the bottle that killed Casey Flynn came from this store. Somebody may have just walked in and put it there, though. Where are the bottles from the comedy club? Over here.
These are a match. So, the source of the poison bottles was the comedy club. Maybe the killer wanted us to think it was random product tampering. Why?
Cover up one murder with another?
I've never seen mold like this. ROBBINS: Yep. Embalming fluid's a witch's brew of formaldehyde, phenol, methanol and alcohol, perfume and pink coloring agent. Kills the bacteria, but mold feeds on it? Yeah. It's like bathing an infant, Nick. Soft and always in motion.
What's wrong? I'm not doing it right? No, you're doing fine. See the bruising on her back and her right elbow? It's consistent with her fall. But it wasn't in your report. Well, it wasn't evident four weeks ago. Subtle bruising may not be evident at the time of death, but it can be accentuated by the embalming process after the body leaves my slab. Now, this bruising would have meant nothing to the mortician. Well, they're in the beauty business. It's my job to spot them, their job to cover them. Let's turn her over. Got her? Yeah. Got her? Yeah. Here we go.
All right, let's see what's under that makeup.
STOKES: Bruises on her face.
Brass was right. We are looking at murder. Naratriptamine comes in tablet form. In order to get it in the solution, you'd have to grind it up. There were traces of caffeine with the naratriptamine. Right, so how did it get there? Maybe it got there during the grinding process. There was a coffee grinder in the green room at the Comedy Hole.
Do you provide your comedians with coffee or do they brew their own? Around here you get generic. If they want something special, they can bring a thermos. Just take whatever you want, okay? Knock yourself out.
That's the last picture taken of Dougie Max before he died.
GRISSOM: Doesn't the red light mean "get off the stage"? ALAN: No, the red light means "get off the stage now" So why were you giving Dougie Max the red light? He's my headliner. I wasn't giving him the red light.
♪ ♪
We're gonna need a sample of everyone's DNA. All right, gentlemen. Good afternoon. Could you line up for me, please, right up here, please? Is this gonna take a long time? I've got a, uh, 4:00 bikini wax that I don't want to miss. I got to get my wig redone, like, in a half hour, so if we... I have plenty of time. I have no career. Right, well, I can see you all know how to open your mouths, so good. Ready? ( laughs softl ) Just give me an "O." I need a lot of foreplay. Oh, well, then maybe I should use a rectal swab. Ah... oh.
Good boy. Okay, who's next for some foreplay? Oh, a nail biter, huh? You mind if I see your hands?
I'm one of 11 kids from 12 dads. You figure it out. Yeah, I gave him the red light. What are you gonna do, arrest me for distraction with intent to humiliate? I'm guilty.
What, are you kidding me? I was joking. Funny. BRASS: You know, something about your wife's case never felt right to me. It bugged me, kept me up at night. And it's not because you called your insurance company and filed a claim the next day. It's your policy, it's your right. It's not because you bought a new Ferrari. It's your money. Or because you're with a beautiful girl. I mean, you just lost your wife, you need some companionship. No. Because of something you said. What am I gonna do? I mean, she was my life. You said, "She was my life." Not is. That's why I'm sitting here? Because I used the wrong tense at the time of my wife's death? No, hold on a minute. You know, I've been a detective for half my life. I can count on one hand the times surviving spouses used the past tense, and I got to tell you, I'll be damned if every one of them wasn't guilty of something.
Now, I mean, that's just me. I mean, in a court of law, it means nothing. STOKES: But... ...this and this and this mean everything. The fact that you're left-handed doesn't hurt us, either. Hurts you, though. Wait a minute. I haven't seen these. New evidence. Body was exhumed by a court order. Second autopsy. You dug her up? Mm-hmm. You dug her up? Mm-hmm. I didn't give anyone permission to dig her up. You're a suspect in a murder case. We don't need your permission. Can they do that?
Yeah.
You killed your wife, George. I loved my wife. And she loved you. Which is why she didn't react when you walked into the bathroom that night. It's wonderful. Mmm. That's great. Yeah. That's great. Yeah.
( grunts ) You staged the crime scene. You see, it's physically impossible for her to pull that towel rack off the bathroom wall. It was an accident. You said so yourself. I was wrong.
I see the pictures. I hear the theories. Still doesn't make my client a murderer.
( indistinct muttering ) Hey! Hey! Hey! That's my car! That's my c-- What are you...?
What the hell is going on here? This is harassment. We don't have enough to file charges, but the insurance company feels they got more than enough. Civil charges. Translated: that means they want their cheese back, man. They want their $750K. They can just take my car? For starters, yeah. This isn't the end of our criminal investigation there, George. It's just the beginning. That's present tense. Now, the coffee you bagged from the club doesn't match the tainted Innoko water. That's the bad news. Still listening. You know what I have that you want in the mornings? Apart from my devilish grin and rakish good looks, of course. I like your coffee. No, no. I like your coffee. No, no. You love my coffee. And you want to know why? It's Blue Hawaiian. 40 bucks a pound, hand-picked... I know, the finest money can buy. No, not even close. Just let me get there. Now, caffeine by itself is not distinctive. It's in all kinds of coffee by definition. Now, the trace amino acid complex, on the other hand, is a signature. Okay, so you've identified the type of coffee.
Kopi luwak. The most expensive coffee in the world. Revered for its rich, chocolatey texture and made from the excrement of a small Indonesian cat-like creature known as a luwak. Cat feces? The luwak eats only the ripest beans, which pass through its digestive system intact. However, during the process, enzymes break down a number of amino acids which cause bitterness. And leaves a unique chemical signature. So whichever one of your suspects drinks kopi luwak is your killer.
We are a bashing nation. Gay bashing? You know what that is? That's guys going, "I hate you 'cause you're queer and you're gay "and you're kind of attractive, "and I would like to have sex with you but I'm in the closet "so I'll just beat you up "and then play with myself in my Trans Am on the way home." Boo. Boo? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Hey, you know what? If that offends you, perhaps you should just come out of the closet and move on with your life. You're gonna feel so much better. You know, you are what you hate.
( one person clapping lightly) All right, um... Mm, I'm a little dehydrated. I hope you don't mind if I replenish my bodily fluids. Mm... ( laughing ) ( applause ) It's a cruel world... CROWD: Ain't it great? Yeah. You know what you'd like? How many people would like it if I just, if I just dropped trou right now and peed on Vin Diesel's head, huh? ( cheering ) Wouldn't you like that? I'll do it. I'm willing to do it for you good people. Oh, I'll do it.
( cheering ) Open wide. I'm flattering myself, ladies and gentlemen. You don't have to open up that wide. See, I'm implying I have a tiny, tiny penis. That's what that joke would be. Ergo, the comedy. I'm talking about penises. You just want to eat out of that toilet bowl. Yum, yum. ( cheering ) Shut up. ( cheering ) Shut up. Don't you get it? Are you that stupid? I am making fun of you. I am the lowest common denominator in comedy when I do that crap.
The only way I could get you to stop laughing now is if I went to every single table and slit every one of your throats.
I can see that I am getting the red light, ladies and gentlemen, and that means it's time for me to stop. Stop with the hate and stop with the fear. Stop with the lies. Comedy, uh, comedy's supposed to be about the truth. You know, uh, I killed tonight. And, uh, I killed, uh, two nights ago. Dougie Max. Uh... on this stage.
'Cause I despised everything he stood for. Dumb people, like you. You think I did a disservice to the world by killing Dougie Max? ( chuckles ) You ought to give me a parade. But the shame of it is, is that, uh, an innocent kid got killed, too, and, uh... I blame you. Yeah, I, uh... I didn't think you were gonna get the joke. Oh, I got it. It just wasn't funny.
( microphone hisses ) ( handcuffs click ) )